I read plays. I attend plays. I review plays. I quickly note fragments of dialogue that capture my fancy. Tickle my funny bone. Pick your whimsical reference. During last night’s Golden Globes telecast I engaged in a Twitter spree I summarize here, inspired by this instinct to capture quips and turns of phrase that delight me.
(“Twitter spree” — is that an existing or new Twitter phrase? I use it to mean that sudden spate of Twitter activity inspired by a live event communally experienced. Oscars, Emmys, Golden Globes inspire this play-by-play commentator in me who usually hangs back.)
These are ordered sequentially as I noted them, during the broadcast, Eastern time, from 9pm to 11pm, plus a little red carpet action. The action begins with one line from Jane Lynch on the red carpet. I shall annotate in square brackets some context for each of the 14 phrases listed here. Sequential not preferential order. You can make your own decision on that score.
- “I have slept with Brad Pitt but I never met him”. [Jane Lynch, who had just met Brad Pitt on the carpet, when asked on the Red Carpet whether they had met before.]
- “Just don’t look at it when you touch it” [Gervais advice to Hugh Hefner’s new fiance.]
- “Ashton Kuchner’s dad Bruce Willis” [Gervais doing the introductions]
- “Screw that, kids” [Chris Colfer in his charming acceptance speech for his sometimes bullied gay character on Glee, telling the kids out there who are told not to dream big what to say about that.]
- “Holly effing crap” [dang who said this? it was in an acceptance speech.]
- “Are these porn films?” [Gervais again, in listing film titles for one of the presenters]
- “Don’t turn the channel, we’re still stars”. Steve Carell. [upon taking the stage with Tina Fey to present.]
- “I am nothing if not falsely humble.” [Jane Lynch accept for her role in Glee]
- “Those few hours we spent at the Maritime Motel” [Surprised Melissa Leo addressing the producer, I believe, of the movie that got her the award, thankful for what got her there, who didn’t think through the double entendre in her choice of words.]
- “Thank you to public school teachers. you don’t get paid like it, but you’re doing the most important work in america” [one of the Glee folks accepting]
- “Right now this is all that stands between me and a Harley Davidson” [Colin Firth on his award and approaching a big birthday.]
- “I think I can cope with just about any age as long as I can still see her.” [Colin Firth on that same big birthday and his adorable adoration for his partner.]
- “There has got to be an easier way to get a standing ovation”. [Michael Douglas on taking stage, post cancer recovery]
- “Thank you to god for making me an atheist” [Ricky Gervais as the credits were rolling.]
I have edited out my random references to fashion and other details and focus, instead, on the list I began assembling, on the fly, of contenders for favorite lines of the night. Instant commentary is so much fun, and often results in lists unlike those that appear on news shows the day after. Thank you all for playing.
My usually blather-y Twitter feed located here: http://twitter.com/msteketee
© Martha Wade Steketee (January 17, 2011)